Yesterday, someone that I have known for almost 35 years unfriended me on Facebook because of something he read that I had done. This occurred without a single attempt to understand what had happened or even to speak to me in person. He chose only to see mal-intention. The phrase he used to deliver his summary judgement was "THIS IS HOW I SEE THINGS: THE WAY THEY --REALLY-- ARE". For emphasis, he repeated it several times in the message. Then he made sure that I could not respond by blocking all communication in FB.
This person was never my friend, but he was a respected and creative band-leader and musician. I admired him for his creativity and talent and tried always to give him what he wanted in the music. My fatal mistake this time? I did a short tour with my closest friend's band as a substitute player. About four months after, this creep asks me to play with him again and I had to refuse him. The reason I refused? I'm no longer a professional musician, I have a demanding straight job, and I was going to be away when he needed a player for his scheduled gigs.
Also off course, he and my closest friend had a falling out. It had taken me almost six months to arrange to play those two weeks with that tour and it played hell with my work and my family.
What I wanted to do is write the following message back to him (but of course I couldn't because he terminated all access on FB).
This is how I see things: the way they --really-- are:
You my are one fucking narcissistic diseased asshole. Because all you do is to take from others, all you can see in others is that they are trying to do the same from you. You turn away people that want to help you, or promote your interests, or try to help you, and assume that their reasons for doing so are to steal from your reputation or your accomplishments. You stole from me personally, you never credited music I played on with you, never paid me one cent of royalties, and generally treated me like shit.
I'm too old to try to help someone who doesn't want my help and doesn't demonstrate respect for me.
This is how I see things: the way YOU really are.
But I didn't; instead I wrote this blog entry. In a blog that noone ever reads to vent my anger.
That door is now closed.
And this will be the last I ever think of him again unless forced to by someone mentioning his name to me. Then I will briefly consider how human talent can be so wasted when sees the world as nothing but a hostile place.
This person was never my friend, but he was a respected and creative band-leader and musician. I admired him for his creativity and talent and tried always to give him what he wanted in the music. My fatal mistake this time? I did a short tour with my closest friend's band as a substitute player. About four months after, this creep asks me to play with him again and I had to refuse him. The reason I refused? I'm no longer a professional musician, I have a demanding straight job, and I was going to be away when he needed a player for his scheduled gigs.
Also off course, he and my closest friend had a falling out. It had taken me almost six months to arrange to play those two weeks with that tour and it played hell with my work and my family.
What I wanted to do is write the following message back to him (but of course I couldn't because he terminated all access on FB).
This is how I see things: the way they --really-- are:
You my are one fucking narcissistic diseased asshole. Because all you do is to take from others, all you can see in others is that they are trying to do the same from you. You turn away people that want to help you, or promote your interests, or try to help you, and assume that their reasons for doing so are to steal from your reputation or your accomplishments. You stole from me personally, you never credited music I played on with you, never paid me one cent of royalties, and generally treated me like shit.
I'm too old to try to help someone who doesn't want my help and doesn't demonstrate respect for me.
This is how I see things: the way YOU really are.
But I didn't; instead I wrote this blog entry. In a blog that noone ever reads to vent my anger.
That door is now closed.
And this will be the last I ever think of him again unless forced to by someone mentioning his name to me. Then I will briefly consider how human talent can be so wasted when sees the world as nothing but a hostile place.
